Sunday, May 11, 2008

Things to Ponder . . .

A happy mother's day to all of you!  

My Aunt Irene sent these to me, and I thought they were cute.  :-)

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?


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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they  just stale bread to begin with?

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If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 

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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

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Why is a person who  plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

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If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?   

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 

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Do Lipton Tea employees take "coffee breaks?"

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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of  bald men?

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I  thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

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If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

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Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

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As income tax time  approaches, did you ever notice : When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells

"THEIRS"?

Happy Mother's Day !

8 comments:

Accidental Poet said...

I like the "disgruntled" one.

Mocha with Linda said...

Those are great! Everytime I think one is my favorite, another one pops up!

Have a great Mother's Day!

Angela said...

I like "disgruntled", too. And the other day I was amazed to learn that "gruntled" is an actual word--though I've never heard anyone use it. It means pleased and contented.

Angie, feeling gruntled today. :-)

Carrie K. said...

I just read those to my hubby and kids. Thanks for the chuckles before church! Happy Mother's Day.

Anonymous said...

These are such fun. I always wondered about the opposite of inept? Could someone clever possibly be called "ept"? Happy Mother's Day to all! Even if you aren't one, I bet you HAD one! Clyde

Kay said...

I love these things!

I just started watching The Note that I recorded. I missed it in Dec. Did you cry when you saw the part "Based on the novel by Angela Hunt"? I almost did and I'm not even you!

Angela said...

Tee hee. I looked up "ept," Clyde, and I'm afraid we're out of luck with that one.

And Kay, I've seen the movie five times, and I still cry. Not at the credits, but during the interview with the songwriter and at the ending. :-)

Angie

Accidental Poet said...

I want to see the movie :(